For Laughs
by Ginnydabomb1996
Summary: Hey, I'm just testing something; basically, I collect quotes off stories that I read around fanfiction, and I've set them all up in this story :D just give it a go, it's guarenteed to make you smile SOMEtime.
1. Chapter 1

**Oookay, guys, I'll explain what this is about:**

**I have this habbit of collecting quotes from stories; ones that I find funny.**

**So, basically, I own**** but a few**** of these quotes below...**

**Enjoy, and please, tell me if this offends anyone :( I'm not trying to...  
><strong>

**PS: I'm not gonna name all of these stories as they come out. Basically, 000 means later in the story a page-break means a different one alltogether. I've tried ordering them, so, we'll see how it goes...  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>TC Brothers - Written By: VAPX007<strong>

"Simon, quick ... do something!"  
>Simon pulled off his glasses and cleaned them, making sure he stayed calm. "Alvin, they've padlocked these cages, and I didn't bring my burglary equipment tonight." He replied with a trace of sarcasm.<br>Alvin gasped, "You have stuff like that?"  
>Simon rolled his eyes and didn't bother answering.<p>

000

"Is there anything I can help you with, Simon?"  
>"Sure, could you get the milk?"<br>Alvin blinked, that wasn't what he meant ... "okay."

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><p><strong>(AN: This story is NOT supposed to be funny [But with the chipmunks, it is anyway] as it's about Alvin getting depression. When I read this part, it was just such a strange relief from the trouble :). The fact that I was not _expecting_ this story to BE funny made it that much more)**

**Why - Written By: Munk19**

Upstairs in Alvin's room. Alvin was still laying on his bed. He was playing catch with a glove in his hand and a baseball. He was throwing the ball up and catching it as it came down. He was enjoying it. However, someone else was in the room with him, and this person was not enjoying it.

'He's been playing catch for the past twenty minutes! When will he stop?' Simon thought impatiently.

Simon was sitting at Alvin's computer desk. He was facing Alvin, crossed armed, and slumped back on the chair. He was glaring at his brother who just kept throwing the ball up and down. Simon hoped that Alvin would miss the ball and it would hit him in the head. However, Simon would have felt really guilty if that happened.

Alvin's thoughts were interrupted by a loud banging noise. He caught the ball that was coming down to his glove and turned his head to the noise. He saw Simon banging his head on Alvin's desk really hard. Alvin tried really hard not to laugh or let out a small chuckle. He let a small smile appear on his face.

'Oh Simon' Alvin thought happily.

He loved the way Simon reacted to his shenanigans.

000

Simon stopped banging his head on Alvin's desk and looked up.

'Why am I injuring myself?' Simon thought.

He heard a ball hitting a glove multiple times and turned his head towards Alvin.

'Oh. That's why' Simon thought.

He turned his chair around and looked at Alvin, who was playing catch with himself. Simon shook his head and sighed.

'Alvin, I love you, but you are not helping' Simon thought.

000

"Gimme!" Alvin demanded in a loud tone.

Simon still kept the ball out of Alvin's reach as he was still attempting to get the ball. He smirked at Alvin.

"The correct way to say it is 'Give it to me', Al." Simon said.

Alvin got a little angrier and jumped a little higher.

"I don't care! I just want my ball back!" Alvin demanded.

"What's the magic word?" Simon sang in a teasing voice.

Alvin let out a groan as he kept jumping for the ball. After several minutes of jumping, Alvin stopped. He quickly backed up and landed on his bed, flat on his back. He was breathing very heavily. After a while, he got control of his breathing, and let out a long sigh. Simon saw Alvin calming down and smiled.

'Are you done?" Simon asked.

Alvin looked up at Simon with an angry glare. Simon chuckled.

"I'll take that as a yes." Simon teased.

000

**(A/N: WARNING: ALVIN/SIMON HINT HERE. Read up to where you think it's gross if you have problems reading about this pairing. Once again, I don't mean to offend anyone...)**

Upstairs in Alvin's room. Alvin was still frozen. The only movement was with his eyes, slowly watching the blue-clad chipmunk opening and closing the cover, not looking down on it.

Why?

Well, he was not going to read it. He was only doing this to scare Alvin into telling him what is going on with his life. Alvin did not know this, he believed Simon was really going to read it. However, Simon would never go through his brothers, or anybody's, personal stuff without permission. Remember, he is the responsible one.

'Do something!' Alvin yelled at himself in thought.

Simon stared at Alvin's expression on his face. He was still opening and closing the cover of the book, not reading it.

'Come on Alvin, spill it out' Simon asked in thought.

Alvin was not saying anything. He just stood there waiting for his younger brother to do something he did not want him to do. Simon noticed Alvin was not gong to talk, so he did what he had to do. He fully opened the cover. Alvin was about to die. He had to do something, instead of taking the book away from him. That will only make Simon suspicious, because Alvin did say it was nothing.

Which was a lie.

'Lie. That's it!' Alvin thought quickly. 'Think of one!'

Simon adjusted his glasses and slowly looked down to read the journal.

"I'm gay!" Alvin shouted quickly.

Simon, was surprised at Alvin's outburst, dropped the book in his hand. Alvin let out sigh of relief.  
>"W-What did you say?" Simon asked shocked.<p>

Alvin gulped.

What DID he say?

"I-I'm gay." Alvin lied with a weak voice.

Simon was still in shock.

"Y-You're g-gay?" Simon asked, nervously.

Alvin nodded his head.

Simon's shock went away, as a smile appeared across his face.

"Is that all?" he asked.

Alvin nodded. Simon kept a smile on his face as he picked up the book off the floor. Alvin went to panic again, but it faded away once Simon placed it back on the desk, where it was before. He turned to look at Alvin.

"Why did you not tell me sooner?" Simon asked.

'He believes me?' Alvin asked in thought.

Alvin shrugged is shoulders and looked down.

"I dunno. I guess I was embarrassed. I was afraid you were going to judge me." Alvin lied.

Simon shook his head slowly, with a smile still on his face.

"Alvin. I am your brother. I'll never judge you for who you are. Even if you're gay, straight, bi, it doesn't matter to me. I'll always accept you, because you're my brother." Simon explained gently.

Alvin looked up and smiled.

"Thanks." Alvin said.

"No problem. Anytime big bro." Simon said.

Silence, once again, was in the room. No one was talking. No one was looking at each other. Just silence.

'It worked' Alvin thought happily.

Simon looked up at his brother and smirked.

'He believes that I believe him. He wants to play, lets play.' Simon thought.

"So." Simon started.

Alvin looked up at his brother.

"So?" Alvin asked.

"Who do you like?" Simon asked.

Alvin's eyes went wide to the question that his brother asked.

"W-What?" Alvin asked, nervously.

"Who. Do. You. Like?" Simon asked slowly.

"Oh. uh, a guy." Alvin said.

Simon chuckled at Alvin's answer.

"What guy? What's his name? Do I know him?" Simon asked.

"Well, uh, he goes to our school, uh, you do not know him though." Alvin explained.

"What's his name? I might know him." Simon said.

"uh." Alvin said.

'This is getting hard' Alvin thought.

Simon chuckled at Alvin's nervousness. With a smirk on his face he turned around and picked up the journal on the desk. He turned back to Alvin, who panicked again when he saw it in his brother's hand. Simon looked down and opened the cover.

"Is it in here?" Simon asked.

"No!" Alvin yelled.

Simon closed the book and looked at Alvin.

"Then who is it?" Simon asked again.

It's uh, uh uh," Alvin said.

Simon looked down and opened the cover again. Alvin was about to lose his mind.

'Think Alvin! Think!' Alvin yelled in thought.

"It's you!" Alvin yelled quickly.

Alvin covered his mouth to what he just said. Simon looked up with a fake shocked look on his face.

"Me?" Simon asked.

Alvin reluctantly nodded to Simon's question.

"Really?" Simon asked.

Alvin nodded.

Simon smiled. He turned around and put the book back on the desk. Alvin's heart was about to explode due to all of this. Simon looked back at Alvin and smiled.

"So you really like me?" Simon asked, faking the shyness to his voice.

Alvin arched his eyebrows to Simon's tone of voice. He nodded to his answer.

"Kiss me."

**(A/N: I decided to leave it there... :) if u've read the story, then u know what happens after)**

000**  
><strong>

"Where's my food?" Alvin asked.

Simon chuckled and looked at Alvin.

"In the oven. Dave's working late tonight. So Theodore cooked something special. Just for you." Simon said.

Alvin arched his eyebrows.

"What is it?" Alvin asked.

Simon smirked at him.

"It's a surprise." Simon said.

Simon looked back at the T.V. Alvin glared at him. He crossed his arms and looked back at the T.V.

"Fine! Don't tell me. I am not hungry anyway." Alvin said.

Alvin stomach rumbled loudly. He looked down at it with a glare.

"Shut up!" Alvin yelled.

000

"What happened to your finger?" Simon asked, again.

"Oh, uh, uh, uh." Theodore said, nervously.

Simon watched Theodore answering trying to answer his question.

'It is not a hard question Theo' Simon thought.

Simon looked back down on his plate, picked up the fork, and poked at the cheese. He then dropped the fork and looked up.

'Wait a minute!' Simon thought.

Simon looked at Theodore, who was still trying to find an answer. Simon rolled his eyes.

"Theodore Seville! Did you use a knife to cut the cheese?" Simon asked, sternly.

Alvin chuckled.

"Cut the cheese." He muttered.

000

"Can I help you?" Alvin asked annoyed.

Simon smirked.

"What?" Simon asked. "I can't keep my brother company."

Alvin nodded and looked at his comic book.

"You can. Theodore is downstairs." Alvin said.

* * *

><p><strong>Dream Lover - Written By: SawyerSeville19<strong>

History is so overrated...Alvin thought as he forced himself to concentrate on his teacher's lesson. At least he looks like he knows from experience...He thought, referring to the fact that their teacher, Mr. Albertson looked like he was born during the Great Depression.

* * *

><p>"Ohh! that boy is something else" Elanore said.<br>"Yeah. Perverted" Brittany said, flipping her hair behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>(ANOTHER WARNING: This story is NOT JUST ABOUT CROSS DRESSING! It's a dare Brittany gave Alvin, so don't say how wrong it is, please. This story was really entertaining. Also has an ALVINSIMON HINT) Found on Deviantart.**

"Simon you're a genius!" Alvin said as he bounced up and down watching his new cleavage jiggle.

Simon smiled but thought to himself that there should be a better use for his intellect than giving his brother breasts.

000

Dave [random guy at pary], meanwhile, droned on with Alvin barely listening to his tale of love at first sight and finding his soul mate. Alvin just enjoyed his cake and threw an occasional 'yes' into the conversation.

Suddenly Dave stopped talking just after Alvin's last "yes, of course" contribution to the conversation. He started to move closer to Alvin who started to get uncomfortable with this latest intimacy.

Quickly Alvin tried to remember what had been said before. A single word popped into the disguised chipmunks mind, "Wait a sec, did he say something about marriage?"

Before he could form another thought Alvin found himself being kissed by his new fianc e. (Well technically it was the lips of his mask that were kissed) Dave stood up bringing Veronica [Alvin] back to her pained feet too.

Holding her gloved hands and gazing into her eyes, oblivious to the panic they seemed to show, he said, "You've made me the happiest man in the world. Wait here while I make an important phone call."

Alvin's figured that this would be a great time to make his escape. He had to get out of here fast. As soon as he was gone Alvin walked a bit unsteadily over to Brittany and Simon, both of whom had seen the kiss and were shocked at it.

Simon was the first to speak, "what was that all about?"

Alvin was silent for a second then slowly said, "Uhm, its this way, that is, well...I think I'm engaged."

Simon just covered his face with his hand and slowly shook his head. Brittany on the other hand was laughing so much she could barely breathe.

* * *

><p>" Guys Choice School Dance This Friday! " She read the words, with hate and rage in her eyes. Where the hell was she suppose to a get date to this thing, oh but wait how wonderful it was guys choice. She moaned out in frustration, and threw hands up in the air. " Cant you just give me a break? " she screamed to no one in particular, students stopped to stare at her causing Brittany to blush.<p>

" Whoops, uh nothing to see here get on with your lives! " she yelled nervously, as she turned around and ran to her next class.

* * *

><p>Simon grabbed Alvin's cap and jammed it on his head.<br>Theodore laughed. 'Simon looks just like Alvin!'  
>Alvin glared. 'DOES NOT! GIVE ME MY CAP BACK RIGHT NOW!'<br>Simon smirked and put on a higher voice. 'Hello, I'm Alvin and I love school and homework, it's just as awesome as me!' He mimicked what he hoped Alvin would (someday) say.  
>Alvin took Simon's glasses and put them on. 'Hi, I'm Simon, and these glasses are too big for me, but I won't let Dave buy me new ones because I care about our finances.'<br>'Haha!' Theodore laughed. 'Simon's Alvin and Alvin's Simon.' His laughs became chuckles. 'Then who am I?' He asked in confusion.  
>Alvin replied blandly. 'You're Theo.'<br>'Oh.'

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><p><strong>It's Nothing, Just a Little Terminal Illness - Written By: Catherine Writes<strong>

"Well, I'm just glad I'm alive," said Brittany, who thought it was high time the conversation moved on to something more important-like herself, for example.  
>"Honey, you sprained your ankle." said Ms. Miller, straight to the point.<br>Brittany scoffed.  
>"The doctor did say you were fine," said Jeanette to Brittany.<br>"Well, what does he know?" asked Brittany.

000

"Alvin! Slow down!" called out Theodore, covering his eyes with both hands.

"Sorry, Theodore." said Alvin. "I'm not exactly sure where the brake is."

"ALVIN! MAKE IT STOP!" Theodore yelled, but Alvin didn't think much of it.

"Oh relax, Theodore." said Alvin weakly.

He was completely oblivious to the fact that poor Theodore was scared to death. Of all of Alvin's schemes, this one was the worst for Theodore.

Place yourself for a moment in Theodore's shoes.

First, imagine that you are being driven by Alvin. If that isn't scary enough, imagine that Alvin, your driver, is sick and had just snuck out of the hospital. Finally, imagine that this same sick Alvin is driving you in an ambulance at 110 miles per hour down the Freeway while going the wrong direction-that is, driving into the traffic instead of with the traffic. One thing's for certain: Alvin is worse than Ms. Miller.

000

1. My mother taught me to APPERCIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week."

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORSIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about,"

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mout and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about weather.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

10. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."

11. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

" You'll sit there until all that spinich is gone."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a millon times. Don't exaggerate."

13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

16. My mother taught me about about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing you eyes, their going to freeze that way."

18. My mother taught me about RECIEVING.

" You are going to get it when we get home."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold."

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come crying to me."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

" When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

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><p><strong>Weelll<strong>, **reviews'd be gr8**, **'cause I'm REALLY unsure if this is a good idea and I should continue..?**

**Hope you enjoyed!  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey, everyone, all of these quotes below are from a story my friend found, so, I actually don't know who wrote it, but… I DO NOT OWN THESE QUOTES, so any recognition of HOW it's written, goes to the author that wrote it, and if she/he reads this, please tell me, and I'll update the story to copy write it to you.**_

**On a happier note, ENJOY!**

* * *

><p>"Alvin, are you alright?" Simon asked.<p>

"You know something, that's the fourth time I've been asked that in 24 hours. Once form you, once from Britney, and twice from Dave before he went to bed last night." He replied sarcastically, although he never did answer the question.

Theodore got the impression that Alvin had never gone to bed the night before. His hunch was verified as they got closer and saw the purple circles under his eyes, "Oh my god Alvin, did you even sleep when you came home?"

"Nope, been up all night trying to get myself to dial this damn number." He replied, glaring angrily at his forearm.

"Uh, do we want to know?" Simon questioned, not wanting to get pulled into another one of Alvin's schemes or pranks.

"Do either of you remember a girl from eighth grade, named Susan?" Alvin asked, ignoring Simon's sarcastic question.

"Yes, she was the first majorly psycho girl you dated for a week right?" Theo guessed, remembering all too well just how mean she had been to him and his weight four years ago.

"Well, as it turns out, she remembered me, a little too well in fact. She is currently trying to blackmail me and Brit into breaking up. I'm going to call her and try and resolve this, but first I have to get my fingers to HIT the F**KING BUTTONS!" he said, screaming the last few words in a frustrated and sleep deprived state his brothers had never seen him in before.

000

"Alvin, you are an ass hole you know that?" Eleanor said as soon as she was close enough to blitz him out without getting in trouble.

"Yeah, but I'm _the_ ass hole. You can't have a group without one you know." He retorted grinning wickedly.

000

She didn't hate Britney; she just had to be destroyed for Susan and Alvin to be happy.

000

(Yeah. I'll get right on that. And then pigs. Will sprout wings. And fly. Whatever.)

000

("Like a date," a little voice added in my head. But that little voice was quickly silenced by the other little voices probably throwing bricks at it.)

000

Just then, Eleanor came down the stairs, rubbing the back of her neck and yawning. "Hey, Jeanette," she said in a tired voice. "Good morning."  
>"More like afternoon," I replied, motioning to the clock and stacking up the cards to put them up. "Why did you sleep so late?"<br>Eleanor walked into the living room, and looked at the clock. "Hm?" Then she saw the time. Her eyes grew wide, and she jumped and knocked over my stack of cards. "OH MY GOD."  
>"Gosh," I corrected. "What's wrong?"<br>"Theodore! Oh my god!"  
>"Gosh. What about him?"<br>"I'm late!" she yelled, "Oh my god! He's been waiting there for an hour!" With that, she ran up the stairs, cursing under her breath, "Shit, shit, shit! Oh my GOD..."  
>"Gosh," I corrected in a loud voice.<br>"SHUT UP, JEANETTE!" she yelled upstairs.

000

"Can I come in?" he asked.  
>"No."<br>"Please."  
>"No."<br>"Please?"  
>"No."<br>"Please?"  
>"Ugh. Fine."<p>

000

"Please don't curse at me." Brittany asked.  
>"Okay, I wasn't cursing AT you, I was cursing AROUND you." Alvin said mischievously<p>

000

"Alvin, quit it!" Brittany squealed, scooting away. He kept tickling her, she tried to crawl away and was almost across to where Jeanette was when he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back onto his lap.  
>"Quit what?" he asked, tickling her again.<br>"AHH QUIT IT!" She screamed, laughing and squirming and trying to get away.  
>"Quit what?" he asked a second time, tickling her again.<br>"OHMIGAWD STOPPPPP!"  
>"Honestly, Alvin, will you just leave her alone?" Jeanette asked, looking annoyed.<br>Alvin let Brit go, and gave Jeanette a look, "Jesus, who put the Edward Cullen in your Harry Potter book, Jeanette?"

000

Brittney sighed. "You were big. Admit it."  
>Eleanor shook her head. "I wasn't big. And even if I was big, it doesn't matter because guess who is wearing your jeans."<br>Brittney gasped. "Oh my gosh! Stand up, El! Let me see!"  
>Eleanor stood up, holding up her shirt a little so we could see the jeans. She spun around.<br>"I'm so proud of you!" Brittany squealed, pulling Eleanor into a hug.  
>"You see, Theodore," I said, leaning toward him, "If you lose a buttload of weight and wear my jeans to the mall, I'll squeal loudly and hug you too."<br>Simon and Theodore laughed.

000

**This one's a little rude… IF you get what it means… unlike one of my friends… so… WARNING:**

He was wearing a red t-shirt with a picture of a bike over the words "MY OTHER RIDE IS YOUR MOM".

000

I shook my head. "Theodore, don't even try to lie to me. You suck at lying. Every time you try to lie, god kills a kitten, just remember that."

000

**(I just love the picture you get in your mind while reading this :)**

I was on my way to the door when Alvin ran in, skidding on the hardwood floor in his socks, and shouted, "Everybody freeze!"  
>Obeying, Theodore and I froze immediately. Eleanor lazily sipped her coffee and took a bite of the piece of bacon in her hand. She sighed and asked, "What do you want, Alvin?"<br>000

As he got up and dusted himself off from his temporary meeting with the floor -

000

Alvin shook his head as he hung up the phone and muttered to himself, "Girls, one minute they're weepy, the next they're acting stranger than Simon after a messed up experiment."

000

"I call first!" he yelled, bolting out of bed and peeling upstairs.

"Okay dude, don't have a stroke."

000

"Why just the next few months?" Jeanette asked, "Is there something wrong with her?"

"Well, it's not so much something's wrong as she just needs some close friends to help her deal with an issue that came up." Britney explained.

"Is she pregnant or something?" Theo asked around the piece of pizza hanging out of his mouth. He had meant it sarcastically, but the silence from Simon, Britney and Alvin told the real story.

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Eleanor questioned anxiously, "Was it an accident or what?"

"Actually, I'm not sure that we should tell you the whole story." Alvin said cagily, "Let's just say that it was not planned and she had no control over anything but she's keeping the baby at least until it's born."

"That's all I need to know." Theo said, his appetite suddenly gone.

000

"I don't think he meant for you to go out and get a dye job though." Alvin pointed out, "Though I do appreciate the company."

"What company? Did you and Brit have a fight last night?" Simon asked, a little bit concerned. He might get annoyed by Alvin on a daily basis, but he was still his brother and they both knew that the other was always there for them.

"Nah, nothing like that, it's just nice not to be the only troublemaker in the family now." Alvin said, quickly dodging a bar of hand soap that Simon had just sent flying at his head. He then took off down the hall laughing to himself.

"It's way too early for him to be unleashed on the rest of society…" Simon remarked to himself.

000

Simon considered it for a second and realized that his older, if less intelligent, brother was right for once.

"Thanks for the tip Alvin." Simon said gratefully, "Where did you find this out from anyway?"

"I was in the principal's office for talking back to my math teacher." Alvin replied, smiling wickedly, his moment of maturity gone to the pages of memory.

000

"I don't hate anyone, but you are acting like the type of person that I wish someone would just crate up and ship away to a deserted island in the dead center of the ocean." She answered,

000

"Dave said for us to take the same car this morning, I can't help it if Simon's new hair style takes forever to get right." Alvin remarked, much to his brother's ire.

"Actually, we're late because after eleven years of school, _**someone **_still hasn't learned that their alarm going off means you get out of bed." Simon retorted, looking accusingly at Alvin.

000

I walked in the door, holding Brittney's hand (which, by the way, is extremely soft...) and walked in on Simon, Jeanette, Theodore, and Eleanor playing Mario Kart on the Wii. I didn't have to look at the screen. I just knew. Maybe it was because their conversation was going something like this:

Simon: SHIT. I'm in last again- I always lose at this game!  
>Jeanette: Please don't curse, Si, here, you can pass me.<br>Simon: You don't have to do that, Jen...Really, you don't.  
>Eleanor: EAT MY DUST, SUCKAAAAAAAS! Ha! I just lapped you, Simon!<br>Simon: Shitttttt...  
>Jeanette: Simon...!<br>Simon: Sorry.  
>Theodore: Awwwh... I got ran over again...<br>Eleanor: Oops. Sorry, Teddy Bear.  
>Theodore: Love you too.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Written By: ChipetteGirl10<strong>

**Story: Our Greatest Escape**

"ICE WATER? REALLY?" Brittany yelled.

"You passed out!" Jeanette said, holding her hands up for defense.

"IT WAS ICE WATER!" Brittany continued ranting.

"Ian's back! Oh no! Oh no this can't end well! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!" Eleanor shouted.

"Shut up! Relax!" Jeanette said. "This is bad! Well, we have two options. One, take this seriously and stand up for ourselves –"

"-Two, move to a foreign country," Brittany said.

"A FOREIGN COUNTRY?" Eleanor shouted.

"It worked for Leslie," Brittany said.

"Who's Leslie?" Jeanette asked.

"Exactly!" Brittany cried.

Claire came out of the kitchen. "WE'RE NOT MOVING TO RUSSIA!"

Brittany groaned and flopped on the couch.

000

Brittany's phone rang. She bolted up. "Alvin? What could he possibly want AT SIX A.M.?" Brittany picked up anyway. "WHAT DO YOU WANT, BUSTER? I WAS SLEEPING!"

000

"I hope Simon is okay, right Theo?" Scott said, not looking up. Nothing.

"Theo?"

Silence.

Eleanor turned around to see that his chubby companion was gone. And that a tomato was squashed. "FIRST SIMON, THEN THEODORE, THEN THE TOMATO? NOOOOO!" Ellie shouted.

"One of Ian's evil little helpers must have taken him," Eleanor said. "AND THEY SQUASHED A TOMATO! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" Eleanor said.

Jeanette slapped her forehead. "FORGET THE TOMATO!"

* * *

><p><strong>Written by: Catherine Writes <strong>

**Story: It's Nothing, Just a Little Terminal Illness **

"All right," began Simon. "Remember how earlier today we all thought I was dying of an incurable disease?"

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to ChipetteGirl10 for claiming her quote :D<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, guys, I'm back with more quotes ^-^**

**Thanks a bunch for the supportive reviews, and I WILL take requests, too, so that's all fine :D  
><strong>

**I don't think I own any of these quotes, please enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>(I'm Not feeling myself today, Victoria Relentless)<strong>

"Where was your homework?" Simon asked, double-checking his backpack for the 3rd time.

"You'd cry if I told you," teased Alvin as he emptied out his pencil sharpener.

**(The Bad Boy and The Bookworm, by RadioBlast)**

What am I going to do about school tomorrow? I can't do any work if I can't see." He said. Alvin smiled.

"I wish I were that unfortunate." He said. Simon shot him a sarcastic smile and bit back into his sandwich.

When they were younger and Alvin and Theodore got scared, they'd always run to Simon. Simon would smile at them, and explain their fears away.

"It's physically impossible for a human being to be half man and wolf...Science or nature wouldn't allow it. There's nothing to be scared of."

"Well, I like the new look. It suits you." She [Jeanette] added, laughing a little more. Simon gave her a smug smile and laughed a little too.

"You think so? I was going for tortured soul." He said [sarcastically], throwing his arms out so she could get a better look at him. Janette giggled, nodding.

**(The Note, By jessicaluvschipmunks)**

Both of them looked up to see the shirt they were under had been pulled away, with all their siblings standing there, the chipmunks frozen, with the chipettes screaming.

"Uh, hey guys" Alvin said nervously as he pulled away from Brittany. "I was uh, just helping Brittany" he said nervously.

"With what" said Simon. "Preforming CPR?" he mused sarcasticly.

"Uh, yes" Alvin replied.  
>_<p>

"You can make a fort, play hide and seek".

"Were not kids anymore Dave" Alvin replied. "That stuff is boring to us now".

"Well, what else are you going to do?" Dave asked as he eyed them all. Everyone fell silent, looking at each other, knowing he was right.

"I guess we will have to" Simon replied, "we can't just watch tv all day".

"Yay" Alvin replied sarcasticly.

"Alvin" Dave said in a stern tone, "don't".

Alvin then passed his paws over his lips, indicating the ziping signal. "Alright then" Dave said as he stood up, grabing his car keys. "I have to go out for a few hours to grab some things. And I want everyone to behave" he said as he gave Alvin another stern look.

"Relax Dave" Alvin replied, "everything is in my capable hands".

"That's what scares me" Dave said as he moved to the front door. "Be good" he yelled as he walked out the door.

"Wow, I insult Alvin, and he says nothing" said Simon as they all focused on him.

"Oh trust me, I would like to say something, but if I did, Dave would run in here screaming my name" Alvin replied.

**(Can't choose Family, by Cokuruscana)**

the Chipettes peeked into their room. There was no doubt that they could hear the commotion from across the hall and decided to investigate. Or tell them to shut up, whichever worked.

***  
><strong>(Chessboxing, by CosmicKitten89)<strong>

Alvin pretended to cringe at his rival. "Umm, according to my calculations, if I aim my punches with enough force at the right angle so that the cosine of the momentum is sixty degrees, they should have enough velocity to overcome the thrust of your punches " Alvin was just shouting out random "nerd words", as he liked to call them, that he picked up from Simon without knowing exactly what they meant, knowing that no one else would and that no one would be able to call his bluff.

He decided to pull a cowardly move, to further his attempt at masquerading his brother, by running and darting from the boxer, and pretending to be scared (but trying not to scream, in case Dave could hear his voice and tell that it was him and not Simon).

But, during the last few seconds, he gave his foe a few hard punches just for the heck of it.

Brittany said, "Wow, I did you see that? I didn't know Simon had it in him!"

Jeanette said, "That isn't Simon! What he said at the beginning of the match made absolutely no sense! Simon knows that angles, not cosines, are measured in degrees!"

Brittany squinted at the boxing chipmunk. "You're right! That's Alvin!"

The foe remained bruised but undefeated at the end of the three minutes, and Alvin was untouched.

Before the chess round, Alvin asked if he could use the restroom.

"Again?" asked the referee.

"Um, overactive bladder!" Alvin said.

Alvin ran to the restroom and knocked on one of the closed stalls.

"Hello? Are you in there?"

"Wait your turn!" shouted the voice of a grumpy old man.

"Heh heh. Sorry," Alvin said sheepishly.

Simon opened the next stall over. "You were looking for me?"

**A Special Friend (written by: AlvinSevilleisHot):**

Brittany then abruptly fell to her knees and grabbed onto his [Alvin's] leg. "PLEASE!" she screamed in desperation.

His eyes widened with shock. "Br…Brittany?" he stammered.

She wouldn't let go and continued to scream. "PLEASE TAKE ME!"

Theodore took that moment to walk in the room and stared at the scene with a raised brow. "Hm, inappropriate..." he said.

Simon walked in behind Theodore and arched an eye brow at the scene as well. "I would have to agree," he said.

Alvin looked up at them. "You - this is nothing what it looks like!" he defended. He then looked down at Brittany. "Brittany, stop! Get up!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU AGREE!" she screamed defiantly.

Theodore smirked. "You better do what she says Alvin," he said.

Simon smiled at Theodore's words.

Alvin rolled his eyes at his comment. "Brittany. I am not taking you," he declared.

Simon shook his head. "How rude. Denying her of what she wants, what's she pleading for," he teased before chuckling.

Alvin glared at him.

Brittany was starting to get pissed overhearing the boys' smart comments. She then stood back up and glared at Alvin. "Screw you Alvin! Who needs you anyway when there are_ three other Seville men_?"

Theodore's eyes widened a bit. "Uh Brittany, while I'm flattered…" he started.

Brittany glared at him. "…Shut up!" she yelled.

Simon smiled. "I don't think Dave would go for it," he said.

Theodore laughed then. "Oh he might," he replied.

Simon couldn't help but to laugh then.

Alvin huffed, getting tired of hearing them. "Will you two shut up? It's not even like that. She wants to go to the Black and White Ball," he explained.

Brittany looked at him in astonishment. "Well of course, and I choked him because he threw away his invitation." She then glared back at Theodore. "That was an abomination!"

Theodore rolled his eyes. "You're an abomination," he mumbled as he picked up his popcorn off the floor.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!"

Theodore's eyes widened. "Uh, that you're a vision of loveliness," he lied, and then quickly left the room as something about Brittany truly unnerved him.

Simon finally approached her with a smile. "Brittany I've been thinking…" he started.

Brittany closed her locker and looked at him. "So what else is new?" she teased with a smirk.

Theodore arched a brow. "Hold up, pause…rewind, and play. All day date?"

Alvin looked at him. "Didn't you notice that Simon was gone all day Friday?"

Theodore thought about it. "Uh…no. Was I supposed to?"

Alvin laughed. "No. I was just saying."

**(Unknown Author & story. If it's anyone's, please claim it so I can give credit)**

The ride back was so much fun! "Livin On A Prayer" came on and goodness knows there is no way to listen to that song and NOT sing along loudly and yell "KEY CHANGE!" at the key change. Me and Simon and Theodore and Eleanor and Jeanette were all like, "OHHHHH WE'RE HALFWAY THEH-ERE WOAH-OH! LI-IIVIN ON A PRAYY-YER!" while Brittany sat in the back and listened to her I-Pod.

* * *

><p><strong>Weeelll, there's another round of them :)<strong>

**Sorry if it's slightly shorter than the others  
><strong>

**Thanks again for the support, and there'll be another chapter real soon!**


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